Immersed in a stinking mire of dense guitar treacle, I'll tremble across the bedsit floorboards to rifle through a curvatured stack of gleaming laptoppery, picking up a mould-speckled avant jazz platter on the way, all the while attempting to translate these worrying eardrum vibrations into semi-coherent sentences. Right now I'm writing for Songlines, Jazzwise, Downbeat, All About Jazz, We Jazz and The Brooklyn Rail.

• Media/Press